Thursday, December 8, 2011

Why? (a serious subject)

I have never understood why it is so difficult for those of us who suffer from depression to understand it sufficiently to be able to explain it to other people. It is so difficult to explain how depression is sufficient to cause me to be unable to get started in cleaning the house, but not sufficient to block me in an emergency drive out to help a family member. All I do know is that as depression deepens, it becomes more and more difficult to climb out of it enough even to ask for help. When you combine that with the aches and pains of Fibromyalgia and arthritis and psoriatic arthritis and the myriad of other damned things I suffer from and THEN add to it the hell of a migraine which had been declaimed as NOT being a migraine ... let's say that not a whole lot gets done. And the hubby gets sullen and quiet.

At least today I finally convinced my primary care physician that I have been having migraines all along. Not that we can DO anything about it ... I'm on so many different medications that we can't add in Imitrex and Topomax is out of the question even though it would help BOTH the migraines AND the Fibro because it made my white blood cell count go all wonky. The best advice she could give me was Excedrin Migraine ... despite the fact that I'm NOT supposed to take aspirin because of the GERD and Hiatial hernia. *sigh* In addition, for the worsening depression which I finally convinced myself to mention to her she is at a loss on what to do. I'm on the maximum doseage of Cymbalta which is supposed to also help my Fibro and she's not sure whether to ADD another anti-depressant or CHANGE the Cymbalta to something else. I've been referred to a psychiatrist AND a psychologist for this issue. *sigh*

On a lighter note, RP decided this afternoon that he needed to run around the house with no clothes on. This is something that we don't encourage per-se, but we're not against it, either. The funny thing was that my migraine started to act up before we even left the Dr's office so by the time he was running around NEKKID I didn't have the energy to complain. Not even when I decided the best course of action was to go lie down in a dark room and take a nap. So, RP got to nap NEKKID for a change. I love that he feels so comfortable in his skin that he can run around the house nekkid. I love that my husband has not reacted with horror at the idea of his son bouncing around the house with not a stitch of clothing on. (I did tell RP to remove the play clamps from his Dr's kit from his *ahem* winkie since that was a bit disturbing to me) I would be willing to bet that there a lot of kids who would love to able to run around sky-clad in their own house but their parents are horrified by the idea.. Me? Eh ... he'll eventually grow out of it. Gods! I HOPE he grows out of it! I do NOT need to see him running around the house nekkid when he's going through PUBERTY in about 10 years! Now, if he wants to go run around the backyard nekkid at that time after dark, I'm not going to stop him except to caution that we have mosquitos and biting midges and no-see-um's plus poison ivy, oak and sumac and I will NOT be applying anti-itch cream to certain areas. Not even NOW will I apply anti-itch cream to those areas. My responsibility for applying creams to those areas stopped when he was potty-trained!

That's about enough for tonight. It's late and my husband just got home (yay).

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