Friday, September 14, 2012

Half a Week of Kindergarten Down

Written 8/24/2012

Well, we have our first half a week of Kindergarten done. Ok, he attended school for 2 days since he started vomiting early this morning ... but he WANTED to go to school today despite feeling sick.

First, let me share some pictures ...














"I Hope You Have Children Just Like You!"

The Mother's Curse is alive and well. I have had small glimpses of it already in the almost 6 years that RP has been outside of my belly, but this morning it really hit full force. I have to laugh and shake my head since I know that I will lay the Mother's Curse on him as he gets older and wait gleefully for when it takes effect and he has the realization that it has come to fruition.

RP woke up whiny this morning (a sure sign he's not feeling well) and as he sat down at the table to eat his Fruit Loops he promptly threw up all over himself and the floor). I sighed, cleaned up the mess and asked him to try to eat a little bit. He ate a couple of spoonfulls and declared he was done. So ... I sent him to my room to rest since I suspected a second vomiting episode was coming. Sure enough, he called me into my room to let me know it had happened again (in a trash can, thankfully) and I mentally prepared to have him home and watching TV all day - as well as calling the school to let them know he was sick.

After about an hour he came into the Living Room and told me since he missed the bus ... I interrupted him and told him "If you're too sick to go to school then you're too sick to go outside and play. If you're well enough to go outside and play, get dressed and I'll drive you to school, you still have time to make it on time." For some odd reason, this suggestion didn't sit too well with him. He started complaining but I just kept repeating myself. Eventually he started crying but I held firm. If he's too sick to go to school then he's too sick to go outside and play. After a few back and forths, he meekly went back to my room to watch Netflix streaming stuff on Roku (a box that allows you to run streaming video from a number of different sources like Netflix, Amazon Instant Videos, Hulu etc).

But I really have to marvel at how well the Mother's Curse is working. I distinctly remember having the same type of conversation with my mom when I was a lot younger. I also distinctly remember being just as indignant that she couldn't understand that yes, I had thrown up - but now I felt ever so much better and should be allowed to go out and play ... The back and forth with me just repeating that if he was too sick to go to school he was too sick to go outside and play, that if he was well enough to go outside and play then I would drive him to school is exactly the same kind of thing my mother did with me. Probably word for word, too.


Mom, wherever you are right now, I love you and thank you for not only gifting me with this dubious curse, but also for gifting me with the means with which to deal with it. Your example of patience and not arguing but simply repeating the words is probably the best way to deal with a child who was sick but now feels better - whether that feeling better happens in the morning or in the afternoon (after school lets out, which I know is on the horizon as he realizes what time school lets out and figures out that I can't drive him to school if it's not in session).

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Yes, I Suck at Blogging

It is official. I suck at Blogging. I have sat down and tried to write a few times but have not have the ability to "stick to it" and finish each post. I did save them so maybe someday I can revisit them and polish them for "print". But considering that my last post was BEFORE we hit the beach, and that was at the end of JUNE ...  Well, I just SUCK.

The beach trip went fine. Well, except for the gods sending us a curve ball the night before we left as well as while we were on the road. We had a derecho that included 80 mph winds that took some limbs off one of the two walnut trees we have behind and to the side of the carport. The limb wound up BEHIND the Highlander on teh driver's side. Needless to say, the Highlander got some scratches from that as well as sap on the hood that we didn't notice right away. Did you know walnut sap EATS PAINT? I didn't until after we got home from the beach and washed the salt off the poor vehicle. Luckily, I called in the damage the morning we left for the beach and the driver's side is now all nice and purty again. As if the walnut branch was not enough, as we were on the road to OBX, a car in front of us on I-95 kicked up a rock and hit the edge of the windshield. This produced a small chip ... and a crack that extended over a foot and a half as soon as the rock hit us. *sigh* So in addition to having the Highlander repainted we had to get the entire windshield replaced. What a way to start off a family vacation.

What a crack!

Walnut tree sap

Scratches

More scratches
Once we got to the beach, determined not to let the damage to the Highlander be an omen, things were mostly ok. Of course, I came down with BRONCHITIS on the first full day, but I was able to go out and enjoy the waves a couple of days thanks to massive applications of guiafenisen cough medication. We also were able to enjoy watching fireworks while sitting on the beach since our week happened to coincide with the Fourth of July. My dad and step-mom came out to spend some time with us, but they were so worn out from travelling that they didn't make it to meet up with us on the Fourth when they were supposed to. In fact, I stayed away from the beach all day on the Fourth waiting for them to show up - only to be told repeatedly that they were coming and then later that they fall asleep again. *sigh* We did travel up to their hotel room on the 5th to eat dinner with them.

The wee man put his own clothes away


I can see shades of his teenaged face in this photo

My little man busts a move on the beach

Fierce five year old is FIERCE!

Sunset over the dunes and houses


                                                      










Since we got back (and got the windshield replaced - which fell under our deductible, AND had half the Highlander repainted) I've been in a flare. Yes, for almost two MONTHS I've been unable to concentrate, unable to get adequate quality sleep and been unable to make it through the day (without being hella-cranky) without a nap.

And now we face the night before Kindergarten (cue dramatic music)!

RP at his table

Obvious name tag is obvious

Playing

The CUBBIES

RP's cubby

Nice, smile, son!

All the classrooms have ADDRESSES

Under his apple in the hallway


Yes, school starts tomorrow for our intrepid five (and a half! as he reminds me) year old. We have met his teacher, Mrs. Ammons. We have taken all his supplies to school. We have seen where he will be sitting. We have bought a LUNCH BOX (and it had to be "Star Wars with Light Sabres on it) plus a drink container AND a hot entree container. I have bought school clothes and new shoes for him. Grammy bought him two new shirts and a hoodie. We have an assortment of healthy snacks ready to go into a brown paper bag in the morning. We have CAPRI SUN in the house (which reminds me ... need to put some in the fridge tonight). We started going to bed at 8:30 almost two weeks ago to get ready. I have been getting up at 6:15 am for a week to get ME ready and figured out how to program the coffee maker to start making coffee at 6:05 so it will be ready BEFORE I wake up.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Tired and Dispirited


So, in gearing up to go to the beach, I have run into a snag. See, RP has picked up some type of tummy bug and up until last night was waking up at night to throw up. It was only happening at night or first thing in the morning and was accompanied by THE RUNS. This has put the worry that he'll continue to be sick during the vacation into both Patrick and me. Luckily, he slept through the night last night with no vomiting and he hasn't vomited this morning - though he did have "an accident". Maybe the tummy bug is moving out finally.

But the biggest thing going on with me is the result of financial issues. My student loans started needing to be paid and rather than bother Patrick with them I was making the payments by myself - on less than $900 a month I was paying over $500. I was also asked by Patrick to help out with groceries at least once a month which usually ran to $200. Plus I was taking care of other things like trying to clothe my ever-expanding body and clothing RP. So I ran up credit card debt and then was trying to make payments on that on the little I had left. It all came to a head a few months ago and we have been in the process of liquidating all the credit card debt. I have put my loans on forbearance and will be filing an application for loan forgiveness based on disability. So hopefully they will forgive a portion of it so that my student loan payments will go down. In the meantime, I have been using my money to help take some of the pressure off Patrick for the beach trip. Oh, and buying clothing to cover my ever-expanding body since I had a total of 2 or 3 pairs of shorts I could wear out in public that somewhat fit.

Last night as we were discussing RP and his illness, all of a sudden Patrick lit into me about the fact that my checking account is below $100 and asked where my money is going. Well, let me see ... I bought medications, shorts, paid some on my Visa card and on the VS card, got a water purifying dispenser for while we're at the beach, tried to get some clothing that would make me feel pretty for a change (it's too small right now because the measurements and US relative size wasn't communicated properly), paid for the dog's vet visit for her annual checkup ... gee, honey - I guess that the 2 pairs of sunglasses I bought for me (since all the previous I've bought have scratches all over them) and the one pair I bought for RP (all total less than $50) really DID break the bank.


To make matters worse, Patrick has a really bad habit of not apologizing when he's wrong or has taken a wrong tack in dealing with things. He just sweeps it under the rug as if I am not WORTHY of an apology. I just feel worthless this morning. It's not all his fault - I have baggage from previous relationships that help along the feelings of worthlessness. But his attacking me last night really has hurt me and I know that he's hoping that it will all just blow over and he won't have to take responsibility for his part in it. I really don't feel like talking to him today. If I did communicate my feelings to him he will just get angry and frustrated both at his own role in them, but more at the fact that I am hurt. Or at least it feels that way.

I am still recovering from almost single-handedly cleaning up the house for my Dad and step-mom to come visit on Father's Day. I have KEPT the house clean since then, which got a minor comment this past weekend and that's about it. I am also reeling from nights of interrupted sleep dealing with RP's illness AND trying to keep the house clean AND get everything except Patrick's clothing packed (I still have a LOT to do there). But that doesn't matter. What I do doesn't matter. My feelings don't matter. I don't matter.

To say I'm depressed today would be an understatement. I want to go back to bed (Aine woke me up at 5:30 to go outside and I wasn't able to get back to sleep and it's 9:50 now) but I have things to do today like picking up Patrick's blood pressure medication and he wanted to get the Highlander washed before we go to the beach. I have laundry in the washing machine, a damp down comforter in the dryer which needs to be hung over the shower curtain rod, dishes in the dishwasher to put away, more packing to do, the interior of the Highlander to clean, a kid to keep track of and feed ... *sigh* I'm just tired and depressed and don't want to deal with Patrick today. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

"No, Sweetie, Fish Can NOT Breathe Air OMG We Have MORE BABY FISH!"

I was engaged in making a seafood pasta salad for the memorial service/BBQ tomorrow for a dear neighbor. All of a sudden, the little guy said "Look Mommy! I caught a fish!" Luckily, I looked over at him because he was standing in the middle of the floor with the fish STILL IN HIS HANDS. I yelled at him to put the fish back in the aquarium and scared him - but he complied quickly. As I raced over to see if the fish was still alive, I explained that fish can't breathe unless they're under water. I told him that fish who aren't under water will drown because they can't breathe air. He was kneeling on his shoe bench and had his face buried in the cushion. As I was looking in the aquarium to watch the fish to make sure she would survive I noticed them ...

BRAND NEW BABY FISH. SomeGuppy SPAWNED since last night. Now I'll have to dump the filter housing to check for live babies in there just to make sure we don't commit fishicide. *sigh* Luckily, not all of the fry from the last couple of spawning "made it" since they are not swimming around the tank. SomeFishie ate them ... which is what big fish do. I can't say that I'm terribly upset at the reduction in spawn swimming around our aquarium - in fact, I'm rather relieved that I don't have to make a trek out to Winchester any time soon. But all we needed was MORE fish.

Is it possible to SPAY fancy guppies?

Thursday, June 7, 2012

I know, I know ...

I really need to write another blog post. Life gets in the way sometimes and I never expected to be able to write every day. Maybe after RP is in Kindergarten I can write with a bit more regularity. But as of right now, between the kid, the dog, the husband, the cranky old man cat and the fluffy cat ... who has time to write?

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Fish Tales

Well, yesterday we did it ... we drove for over an hour to deliver baby fancy guppies to a pet store in Winchester. I bagged up over TWENTY baby guppies in various stages of growth into two gallon-sized bags and we hit the road. Unfortunately, while I was bagging the guppies we had a crisis -

"Mommy you can't give away ALL the baby fish!! You CAN'T!! You have to leave some here!!" This was said in the midst of many tears and a red face.

*sigh* I couldn't catch ALL the babies so I told him that we still had some in the aquarium but that wasn't good enough. He insisted I put some back, so I stuck my hand in among the TAME baby fish and manually scooped one out and put it back. Then he declared it wasn't enough - I had to scoop ANOTHER one out of the bags and put it back as well. So instead of only having about four baby fish left in the aquarium, we wound up with about six. That was IN THE TANK. I changed the filter this morning and checked the filter housing and found at least EIGHT newly spawned LIVE fry in the filter. F*ck me! I couldn't stick the net into the housing because it's too big and I didn't want to put the water from the housing back into the aquarium with all the yuck as well (and I REALLY did not want to have over a dozen babies still in the aquarium) so I just went ahead and quickly and quietly poured them down the sink with the rest of the icky water before putting in a fresh filter bag and reassembling the filter. So I am a fish murderer. Just don't tell my son, please.

Luckily (heavy sarcasm there) we have four females and two males to make MORE FRY for the little guy. I do plan on letting a batch get large enough for me to "sex" them and keeping a male from one of these spawnings of my females and males - I want a nice pretty one from the mix of colors I have in the tank. I still really want a blue male, but that's not realistic since we're already almost at capacity for fishies in our aquarium. Also, every single freaking blue fancy guppy I've bought has DIED on me so I'm feeling like maybe I'm just not meant to have blue fancy guppies - at least not at this time.

But for the time being, we have a much less crowded aquarium. I know I have MORE fry on the way ... but we have a little bit of a breather before they arrive. The yellow female just spawned so she won't spawn again for a few months and I'm not sure when the greens will spawn next. At least I don't have to head to Winchester again for a bit. I'm also trying to expand my "net" and find other pet stores who are willing to accept baby fancy guppies so that I don't "flood" one store with fish.




Monday, May 21, 2012

One Month and Ten Days

We have a month and 10 days before we head off to the Outer Banks of North Carolina for our week at the beach. YAAAY! RP is getting anxious to go and Patrick and I can't wait to get there, either. We always have fun during our week on the sand, and I'm planning on getting another tattoo for my left shoulder. I just can't wait to hit the waves and just relax and have fun!


Now it's time to make sure we have clothes that fit so we can pack up before we go. I've been buying shorts for myself on eBay as well as a few dresses (one I may alter to make shorter) and last night I ordered some new shirts and pajamas for the little guy. I'm "giving in" and not worrying about my weight right now, so I need to make sure I have stuff that fits my currently larger body. RP keeps insisting on growing taller (though not much wider) so he needs new shirts that he can wear both in the water and out. I did buy him 2 rashguards for the beach and pool which will help - especially after he gets his annual sunburn.


I also have gone ahead and paid for a "Sunny Day Guide" to be sent to us. This is the little magazine that has ads and coupons in it for OBX stuff. We can use the copy we'll get in the mail to maybe plan out a special excursion while we're at the beach. We can also plan out maybe some places to go and eat a meal at a "fine dining establishment" to save me from cooking all of our meals while we're there. While we will be on a budget, we can still have a bit of fun and eat a meal or two away from the place we're renting for the week.

I am already planning what we need to pack and when I need to start packing it. I'm not sure where the pre-packing bug comes from ... whether it's a residual effect of being raised as an Air Force Brat, a residual effect of being raised a Jones, a survival thing due to the Fibro or just my own little quirk. I'm afraid that if I don't pre-pack that I'll forget something important. I can't remember very well how early we packed when I was growing up and we were heading to the Lake (Middle Cullen Lake in Minnesota - halfway between the towns of Nisswa and Pequot Lakes) for our week or two of "leave" time. I somehow get the feeling that this pre-packing insanity comes from a combination of being a military dependent and being a Jones with added intensity of knowing the Fibro fog can strike at any time. I do have a hazy memory or two of packing up the station wagon a couple of hours before we have to leave in the middle of the night, climbing into the vehicle and heading out before we kids fell back asleep for a few hours. I also know that my inability to fall asleep in the front passenger seat is a habit picked up when I was a teenager and we went on family trips. The front seat passenger is the "co-pilot" who is responsible for keeping the driver awake, getting tolls ready, opening drinks for the driver and anything else to assist the driver during a long trip. Therefore, the front seat passenger is not allowed to sleep. Even more than 20 years after I left my parents' house, I can't shake that training.


Friday, May 11, 2012

What a Difference A Day (and the Mail) Makes!

Yesterday I was feeling very low. I already knew that my Mother's Day gift from Patrick and RP would be going out to eat. Not a card, not a bottle of wine, not a really nice diamond for me to set into a piece of jewelry for myself ... just dinner.

Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate being told to pick someplace to go eat where *I* didn't have to cook. But I also knew that depending on which place to eat I chose, my husband was inevitably going to ask if we should bring Grandma. *sigh* I love my Mother In Law, I really do. She is very involved in RP's life and takes him to Story Time at the Library as well as Sunday School (a bit too often for this non-Christian Mommy) plus sometimes even just to go to the park to play on the playground. Having that small amount of time to myself is PRICELESS. But with "sharing" so many holidays with her (Christmas Eve is ALWAYS at Grandma's house) I get a little tired of not having a special day all to myself.

Then I read something on one of my favorite blogs Rants From Mommyland about a project they had. Back during the Holiday season last year they started hooking up Mommies who needed some help (Hookees) and some encouragement with Mommies who wanted to help (Hookers). It was such a big hit that they decided to do it again. This time it was for Mother's Day and they were calling it the Mother Pucker Project. To boil down the idea ... Mommies who needed some encouragement and support and just a little Mommy Love would get gifts and all the Mommy Love that another Mommy could send. Now, I had not yet started following these AWESOME Mommies back in November and December, so I couldn't help out back then. But I decided I COULD help out this time, at least a little bit. The problem was that I felt also that I needed a bit of Mommy Love myself. See, my mommy died 10 years ago this Mother's Day. I didn't tell the wonderful Mommies behind Rants From Mommyland (who actually live only about 1 1/2 hours away from me) that little bit of information. For some reason it just didn't come up in my email. But the closer I got to Mother's Day the more the realization that Mom had been gone for 10 years just hit me in the face. This comes a week and a day after the anniversary of my older brother, Butch, being gone for 13 years. Needless to say, I have been in lower and lower spirits as the week has gone on. I miss them both so much! Go ahead and do the math ... RP is 5 years old and my brother and mom have been gone for 13 and 10 years respectively.

So, earlier this week I got my first Mother Pucker gift - the card from Erin who wanted to be pen pals. This was sweet, and I'm still not sure that I am really up to the task of writing to a pen pal; but I'm willing to try. I wrote her a 3 page letter which I printed out (since my handwriting is HORRIBLE if I write for too long) and some pictures of the insane asylum inmates I live with. But I was honestly still feeling lower and lower. Then today ... the PACKAGE arrived from a different Mother Pucker named Melissa. It has a bunch of stuff and was actually already FEATURED on Rants From Mommyland (so I'm going to steal their picture becuase my house is a mess).

Mother Pucker Survival Kit
Included in the kit is an explanation:

Mother Pucker Survival Kit


Advil- For all of life’s “headaches”, whatever or whoever they may be


Baby Wipes- Because they are ah-freaking-mazing. Hello, I mean, what else can you use to take off your make up AND clean the toilet?


Ear Plugs- Because sometimes Calgon can’t take you away and you NEED a few minutes of peace, or because if you have to listen to DJ Lance on Yo Gabba Gabba one more time you might have to open up a fresh can


Dark Chocolate- Because Mommy needs her antioxidants!


Lip Gloss- To remind you of your inner sexy…bonus, the watermelon scent should mask the fact that it’s 4pm and you haven’t had a chance to brush your teeth


Individual T-Box- Because, obviously!!

I honestly feel that the Mother Pucker gift *I* sent out pales in comparison to this gift to me. I sent my Mother Pucker 3 tubes of beeswax lip balm in Chai Tea, Creme Brulee and Caramel flavors, a Thank You card and a natural Star Sapphire Pendant with a yellow diamond accent that I had made on a 22" chain.





The note I wrote


I feel that I didn't do much since I had the setting, stones and chain on hand due to my shop Cat's Creations on Etsy ... but I felt strongly that this Mommy needed to know she was a star. It didn't take as much planning and thought as what Melissa sent to me (and hers was one of the packages I felt humbled by before I knew it was FOR ME).

To say that this gift from Melissa and the offer of a pen pal friendship has touched me would be an understatement. They were just what I NEEDED today, especially since I almost literally cried myself to sleep last night and woke up feeling slightly better (at least I wasn't in danger of crying again) but still blue and bereft. Thanks to my Mother Puckers and BIG thanks to Rants From Mommyland in setting this while project in motion. You all ROCK MY FACE OFF!