Thursday, December 22, 2011

My Little Man on FaceBook

I wanted to share some of the funnier episodes and conversations I've had with RP. Luckily, with the Timeline profile I can "go back in time" and find some of the funnier things to share here.

March 20, 2009 - thinks it's disturbing for your son to pat your chest and say "I *like* boobs" when he's told to leave them alone.

March 23 2009 - toddler just packed a variety of biscotti and some applesauce in a bag. Nobody knows where he's going ...

May 31 2009 - overheard from Little Man's bedroom after Daddy installed a new window a/c unit and several suspicious beeps: "Stop pushing buttons! Good lord, you've turned it down to 61!"

June 6 2009 - cute quotes (and toddler-mayhem) of the day. When found with a silicone spatchula in the jar of peanut butter ... "I'm PAINTING." When told you don't use peanut butter to "paint" on the fridge .. "But I want to paint..." (said in a very plaintive tone.

August 12 2009 - I made a microwaved lunch. RP came running into the kitchen "I smell something good" and opened the microwave and looked inside. "Where's the food? Where's the food?" as he looked around. I came into the kitchen and he saw me holding the food ... "YOU took the food, Mommy. YOU took the food! I want some, give me that food." Meanwhile, I'm doubled over in laughter.

August 22 2009 - omy ... I'm dyin! RP took a notebook and opened it up. He drew a roughly circular shape on one page and a larger roughly circular shape on the other (facing) page. Then he says "Wait a minute ... this is the little head and this is the big head". I started rolling and my hubby whacked me in the knee.

September 7 2009 - I want to know where Little Man gets his ideas. "I want to do the nekkid polka. I can't do it in underwear. I want my winkie out so I can do it."

September 25 2009 - LM is bouncing off the walls and telling ME to "be quiet so I can concentrate". Then he went and got a squooshy toy and hands it to me and says "You play with this, it's quiet.". OMG - sometimes even through everything he's doing he can be so darn FUNNY!

September 19 2009 - Overheard from the shower:
"I don't want to be wet!"
"Well, I don't want to be bald!"

October 2, 2009 - If you go to feed your cats and have to call out "RP, what did you do with the kitty dishes?" You MIGHT have a toddler/pre-schooler.

October 11, 2009 - overheard from the bath room: "I don't want to get back in. I just want MY SKIN. Can I come out now?" To which hubby replied: "Not without your skin!"

November 30 2009 - Conversations with a 3 yo - the continuing series.
LM "Mommy, what are you doing with that paper?"
Me "I'm going to sand your new step-stool to make it smooth."
LM (throwing himself across the stool) "NO!! I don't want it smooth!! I want it ROUGH!!"

December 10 2009 - I was going potty when I heard a weird sound. I look out the door to see LM tugging his quilt down the hall. I asked him what he was doing. "Don't worry, Mommy. I'm just taking this out so I can live in it in the Living Room."

December 17 2009 - Never ask a 3 yo a question unless you want an honest answer! (ACTUAL conversation)
"Mommy, what did you do today?"
"I went and got medicine. What did YOU do today, sweetie?"
"I played with my winkie."

January 12, 2010 - I have no idea what LM is up to. He has a foam 2" paintbrush and some marshmallows. OMG - he's trying to ROAST THEM on the baseboard heater! I just rescued one and here he comes with a FORK!!!

January 30, 2010 - In changing LM's pull-up we had this conversation: Me " AAAUUUGGHHH!" LM " Don't worry Mommy, it's just a winkie. It doesn't talk." I then proceeded to ROFL

February 28 2010 - Life with a 3 yo: I heard much crying coming from the hall bath and angry tones from Patrick. Finally, I heard Patrick tell the LM to go see Mommy about "it". LM came over to the desk in the LR crying ... with his padded Elmo potty seat around his neck! I forgot to take a picture, but instead removed it after 3 or 4 attempts and kissed his ears since they got scraped.

March 5 2010 - LM brought me a container of coffee creamer. I told him that the pot is empty and he asked me if we have any more "coffee seeds" in the house. I told him yes, so he FORCED me to make a fresh pot of coffee.

April 9 2010 - I told LM he was sweet and smart and strong and then asked him what else? He said "and funny?" So I agreed and funny then I asked what else? He said "and fashionable?" Um ... ok. That came out of LEFT FIELD. WTH has he heard the word FASHIONABLE?

April 25, 2010 - I asked LM if he was handsome and he said yes. Then I asked him why he was handsome ... "Because you are beautiful, Mommy." I ♥ my little guy!

June 16 2010 - Conversations with a 3 yo continued ....
Me - "Why are you nekkid?"
LM - "I don't know!!!"

August 20 2010 - LM quote of the day (as I hand him some underwear and shorts) "Aww ... why do I have to wear clothes?"

August 21, 2010 - You gotta love pre-schoolers!
Me: "RP, that truck does not belong in the chair (recliner, where Daddy was sitting). Put that truck down."
RP: "Never"
Me: "RP, put that truck down"
RP: "Ne-verrrrrr"

September 17, 2010 - "Mommy, my head itches."
"Oh, no!"
"Why did you say Oh No, Mommy?"
"We'll have to take off that head and put another one on!"
"But then I'll BWEEEED! Can't we use head-paste instead?"

September 23 2010 - Me: Are you a person?
LM: No. I'm a boy. Only girls are people.
Me: Are you a human being?
LM: No. I'm a BOY. ...
LM: Daddy is the same boy as I.
Me: I don't think so ... I think Daddy is his own boy.

December 16, 2010 - Um, I found out LM decided to go "commando" today. *shrugs* Oh, well.

February 10 2011 - I was making a hot dog for RP and asked him which bun he wanted - a hotdog bun or a steak samwich bun. He told me "Size doesn't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts." Uh ... I told him to remember that for later in his life just in case he meets a mean girl.

February 14 2011 - Conversations with a 4 year old continued:
RP - "My winkie thinks it's time to watch come TV."
Uh ... I didn't know that thinking with that body part startd THIS young!

May 10 2011 - Aine got a hold of a sugar Easter Egg that Grammy sent to RP. I took it away from her and said "Aine, you don't need a sugar egg." RP then said to me "Does she have DIABETES?"

May 20 2011 - LM just slipped a "Boots" ring from a cupcake onto my finger and said "With this ring, I thee wed."

June 19 2011 - Patrick just told me "You know, it's strange when your 4 yo asks you how your penis is doing this morning." Uh ... um ... RP asks the STRANGEST questions sometimes.

September 13 2011 - RP is perusing the Think Geek catalog. He has already pointed out the giant Angry Bird plush, the r/c tank, a sword on the back cover (that they DON'T SELL) ... My wee geek! Gotta love him!

September 28 2011 - RP decided to wash the evening's dishes. He missed a cup that had had milk in it so I grabbed it, rinsed it out & put it in the sink to wash after we put him to bed. He told me "no, I'll wash it. You just sit back and relax." ♥ ♥ ♥

Dec 20 2011 - Conversations with a 5 yo (after calling Grandma's phone and getting her answering machine)
RP - "It says Grandma's not available, but I know she's there - her car is there."
Me - "Well, honey - maybe Grandma's taking a nap. Or maybe someone came and picked her up and took her somewhere."
RP - "Maybe she was kidnapped!"

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