Monday, April 30, 2012

I Am Not Responsible For What I Write Today

Let me tell you, having a neurotransmitter disorder, insomnia and teeth that are slowly going bad due to the side effect known as "cotton mouth" or "dry mouth" really is not a walk in the park. The NTD makes it so that pain is amplified - that's ALL pain. So when I am having toothaches in the middle of the night they literally wake me up from the pain. That means that I was up last night




Now, as if that wasn't bad enough, I have slow-sleep insomnia so it takes me a bit longer to get to sleep or to go back to sleep. Sometimes it's as "short" as 15 minutes and sometimes it's as long as two to three hours. The first time I woke up, I was only awake for about half an hour to 45 minutes before I went back to sleep so that was ok. But still ... if I couldn't get to sleep until AFTER 2 and woke up at 4 then was awake for about half an hour - well, you do the math. Next I woke up at about 6:15 and was UP such that I knew that it would be at least an hour before I would feel sleepy again, and then if I went back to sleep I would lie there anticipating RP waking up so I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. So I just stayed up.

Now, I'm NOT a morning person ... I'm an "owl" (hence the late bedtime). RP goes back and forth between getting up "early" (before 8:30) and getting up "late" (after 9:00) but seems to be moving towards being an owl and Patrick is an owl as well. My child ... who USED to wake me up at 5 am for his breakfast and then continued to wake me up at about 6 even after he stopped nursing (thus making for an exhausted Mommy) is happily staying awake until after MIDNIGHT - even when I put him to bed earlier. But anyway ... that's a bit off track from the opening phrase from this paragraph. I do not reach "peak" until after 3 pm - which played havoc with my schooling - and have a "second wind" that kicks in sometime about 9 or 10 PM instead of 5 or 6 PM for most people. Needless to say, I've been grumpy and cranky or even maybe B!TCHY (take your pick) all day. Poor little guy has had to put up with a cranky Mommy. *sigh*

My brain is MUSH. I feel if I shake my head hard right now that it will drip out of my ears or nose like so much lumpy, watery oatmeal. I texted the dear hubby that I am not up for talking tonight and that I would talk to him tomorrow night and why. He actually understands - at least somewhat.

Now, I DID get a very broken nap today which added MAYBE another 2 hours to the 3 1/2 I got last night. That's still only 5 1/2 hours ... which for me is so much less than my body NEEDS that it's pitiful. I'm currently plotting how to get the kid into bed early tonight so that I can get to bed early.

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